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These are biscuits. Well, cake. Cake – cookies. I swear I followed the recipe. But instead of letting the dough cool for 24 hours I compromised forgot 20 minutes in the freezer.
It didn’t work.
They taste Ok though, so I guess all hope is not lost.
So why did I rush myself to bake biscuits at 9pm?
Because my creativity has woken up, after a verrrry long time. And I want to write, I’m actually craving that feeling of the pen running across paper bringing my thoughts to life.
But there is something worse than writers block in my brain. Living in there,  taking up all the space so that my writer self refuses to come out of its Cosy little corner.
So instead I create food. It’s really not great food. But at least it feeds people and I see the end result. Which I guess is what stops me from my writing. I just can’t imagine the end result.

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When the ice melts…

So looking through my notebook of all my scribbles, I found this….

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When the ice melts

Two perfect strangers, across a busy room

One arriving too late, the other just too soon

A glance is exchanged, but awkwardness appears

Until one gets the guts and bravely nears

It’s a cold discussion, not much progress

He’s just too perfect, she’s such a mess

Then out of the blue, they find common ground

And together their laughter makes a wonderful sound

And suddenly there’s warmth, affection and – love?

Not yet but if they happen to stay long enough…

Because the ice is now melted, and now it begins

A torturous game, in which no one ever wins

When ice melts it becomes water

Cold and fast, it offers nothing but slaughter

It takes your breath away, fills up your lungs

 

Annnd that’s as far as I got. What I wouldn’t do to go back to the me that wrote that so I can remember what I was thinking.

Do you ever find pieces that you’ve written and ask yourself what was on your mind?

 

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Such a DRAG

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Ladies night is not something I do often. With work and other responsibilities, my opportunities to dress up and go out are limited.

So a work friend and I took the chance during the Christmas break, to do a ladies night. Which turned out to be just us, plus her mom. But all good.

We made a pact to both at least wear high heels, just to at least feel girly; and decided that the new restaurant, Beefcakes, is where we would grace with our presence.

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Beefcakes is an extremely gay restaurant, with young, muscled waiters who bring you your food while they flex their bare-chested muscles. Perfect for a girls night.

We needed something fun though, it would have seemed slightly awkward if we just sat, sipping cocktails and eyed out the waiters. Luckily, Tuesday nights are Bitchy Bingo at Beefcakes nights. OK, so we head out for a game of bingo and drinks.

When last did any of you play Bingo? Because at 23, I have never played. Ever. Same went for my companions. In fact, between the three of us, our knowledge of Bingo extended to all those movie scenes where you see a bunch of old ladies and then one shouts BINGO… Doesn’t seem so hard…

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Arriving at the location, the parking lot is full, and we haven’t booked a table for Bingo, so we were kinda worried that we had gotten all dressed up for nothiiiing. We sent my friend in to try get a table, while we tried to find a parking. She replies after a few minutes with “I found parking!”

And then corrects it to “Oops, I found a table.” We hadn’t even had a drink yet and we were getting confused. Once we had parked the car, we joined her inside and discovered why she had been so confused, when we met our waiter, Thomas; who had already introduced himself do my very smiling friend.

Looking at their cocktail menu, all the cocktails had extremely appropriate names: Sex in the city cosmopolitan, 9 inches Long Island Tea, and such.

We ordered our drinks, and Thomas tried to get us to order shooters… We just laughed at Thomas, how dumb did he think we were?

After about 15 mins of taking in the decor, staff and other interesting customers around us, our host for the night, Molly, introduced herself to us with a song. After her song, she brought a muscled helper, whom she affectionately called her “ball-boy” to help her get the game of Bingo started.

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She then proceeds to explain the game to all the dummies, like us, who haven’t a clue how to play. You can have BINGO across the page, or you can have it diagonally… We listened, we heard, we believed that we now knew how to play. Well, it is apparently a bit trickier than that, see when one of us got BINGO with a series of numbers scattered across the blocks, the rest all cheered her on and agreed that she had Bingo… BUT when she went up to Molly to show her… Welllllll, you know when you’re all over eager at school to impress the new teacher and you put your hand up to answer a question, all proud of yourself, and then the whole class starts laughing because your answer is faaaaaar away from correct? Yeah, we had that, except this was a loud, drunk class and they had a spotlight!

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So Molly comes to our table, her spotlight in tow, and calmly explains to us that we are dumber than old grannies… Afterwards, we laugh it off and continue the game. We managed not to draw anymore attention to ourselves, also not to get Bingo at all between us. But Molly kept us entertained with jokes throughout.

Before the game had started, Thomas had again tried to convince us to have shooters, and we had again shot him down, but he did manage to convince us to make a deal with him; if the number 3 came up in the game, we would buy a shooter. This was completely agreed upon by my friend, and the rest of us were innocent parties in this scandalous bet.

Of course, the number 3 was called out ( twice actually, but Thomas was unaware of the first one) and we honoured our side by ordering 3 blowjobs. It tasted surprisingly good, with caramel, and something chocolatey in it. And of course, one shooter allllways leads to another. (clever Thomas)

So we have another shooter while Molly belts out an ABBA song, and gay couples everywhere start dancing. So, of course, we dance too! Except not as well as the guys…

Once Molly is off the stage, its apparently time for the waiters to steal the show.. topless. We decide that before we have more shooters and the party REALLY gets going… We should go.

So we did, after getting Molly to pose for a photo first. And watching Molly leave…. as a man…. who looked nothing like Molly at all really.

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New Years

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It’s a new year! Time to stop my excessive drinking, continuous complaining, over-eating; and time to start exercising everyday, become a vegetarian, save the world from useless leaders… Oh and save money.

Um, or not. I know most people have given up on resolutions altogether, for the simple fact that no one actually sticks by them.

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I use to make my resolutions on my birthday. Right in the middle of April, I’d go through this small personality change, start wearing my hair down everyday, or wearing make-up, or being kinder to my brothers. Some of it worked, others I just forgot about. But that still made more sense to me than New Years resolutions.

So I gave up on making empty promises for a while. I took life as it came. And then last year, I decided that my year would have a theme. So I named my theme of the year Courage. I had to find the courage to do things so that I could get a bit further in life. And it worked, I forgot about my theme after a few months, but I had my goals in my head. I found the courage to finally face a dentist, including surgery. I found the courage to learn how to drive, which admittedly terrified me, only for the fact that I don’t want to kill anyone. I found the courage to accept love and commitment when I otherwise would have run away.

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So I left 2015 feeling proud of myself, more confident. I even ended it by finding the courage to leave my comfort zone at work to pursue a very new area of work. Facebook was the one who kindly reminded me, in my FB memories, about my theme idea. I then figured I should try again this year.

I decided that the theme for 2016 would be Passion. I want to find the passion that I once had, for writing, for learning, for living in general. I want to go on adventures and experience life everyday. I want passion at work, at home, and in my mind at all times, so that I can use it as inspiration.

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For too long now, I have gone through the motions of life, doing what needs to be done, now I want to do what FEELS right.

I feel that the themes work better than creating a list of close-to impossible rules that I expect myself to follow.

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Dear Santa

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?” ~ Dr Suess

 

My favourite Christmas movie is the Grinch who stole Christmas. And the quote above hits home with me this year. The past few Christmases have been anything but festive. My last Christmas with my family was 2012. It was amid drama and tension but we made it through as we always did. Everyone smiled and laughed the whole day and pretended we weren’t all tired of each other.

The next year I was on my own. Literally spending Christmas Day in a pub, drinking with friends. That was not how I was taught to celebrate Christmas. The year after that was slightly better, being able to spend it with new family and friends but still my own family was split and far apart.

That is why this year seems so special. My siblings – every one of the buggers – managed to spend more than a couple hours together under the same roof to celebrate in semi-traditional ways. We eat, we open presents, we fight, we laugh, we sleep. Except this year we went home instead of sleeping. We all say that this was for my mothers sake, but I think it was largely for our own as well. When you grow up with other human beings in such close proximity, it becomes strange when those beings are suddenly an after-thought in your everyday life.

And I know that one day we will all be married (or not) and we will have our own Christmas traditions and may not have the time to take to spend with each other. I know that this is part of life and growing up. But it seems sad that you are born and taught how to tolerate these children who share your parents, only to drift completely apart.

Not that I don’t value the times that I don’t have to deal with my brothers’ fights, or cocky attitudes, or that I’m not glad that I can finally enjoy a slab of chocolate without having to split it 6 ways. They have all annoyed me past my breaking point, and any more than 3 hours with them and I want to smack them all for being so dumb, arrogant and lazy.

But this year I finally get why people have continued the Christmas tradition for so long. Its not for the carols, or the tinsel, or even the food. It’s so that families have an excuse to drop their everyday lives and be together. Even if its the most dysfunctional, loud, problematic get-together of their whole year. At least they managed to see each other again, for whatever brief period it is.

 

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Frustration

So I realize I’ve neglected my poor blog ( not that we didn’t all see that coming). And I really want to rectify that. But do you think I can think of anything to write about? Nope.

I’ve been sitting in front of the keyboard for two hours, I’ve won 3 games of Candy crush, watched four episodes of Criminal Minds, also found three recipes for muffins on Pinterest.

And I’m no closer to having any idea about what to write. And making it so much harder is my PRECIOUS cat – he’s not even technically mine – has decided to sit on top of the keyboard.

So instead of an intelligent, thoughtful post that I had hoped I would write, I shall simply leave this here…

How to be a Color Runner

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With all my runs/walks I’ve done this year, when I heard about the Color Run I had to do it. An excuse to dress like a complete nutcase, while you run through a coloured warzone… Yes Please. So, this is how we managed to be Color Runners in Cape Town’s 2015 Color Run.

  1. Sign up for their VIP mailing list. They’ll let you know as soon as tickets go on sale for your town and let you buy them at half price!!
  2. You get vouchers from Takealot for run packs ( tutus, socks, powder etc). Buy them asap, I waited too long and I had to buy everything seperate.
  3. Buy a TUTU!! It’s just not the same if you’re not dressed the part.
  4. Wear white, they give you a shirt but find shoes and pants that you don’t mind possibly ruining, the colour washes out but usually becomes pink.
  5. Take before photos. You’re so white and pretty.. You’ll want to remember that when you leave looking like a rainbow MONSTER.
  6. Bring cash, and lots of patience. Lines are long, very, very long.
  7. That said, the start line is just as long. We waited an hour in the start before we ran. They let you out in batches and there are like a million people ( slight exaggeration) so make sure you have an empty bladder, sunscreen and again, patience.

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    the start line

  8. Also on that note, don’t expect to do ANYTHING else with your day, Doing the Color Run is like going to visit your Gran on holiday; they both assume you are there for only them and that you have no other plans. At all. I promised my boss I’d be at work by 1pm and arrived at 3pm.
  9. It’s a good idea to wear sunglasses especially through the colour stations, so the powder doesn’t blind you.
  10. RUN! Just go with it, have fun and get as colourful as possible.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              12112341_10206541579991475_1879368202918777518_n                          12119057_10206524416688040_6734891712459138671_n

In the head of a first-time 10km runner (read jogger) ((read half jog/half walker))

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The night before :
I need to get some good sleep tonight
But since I’m only home at 11pm I may as well watch a movie
1am… Damn

5am wake up call
Why do I do this to myself
Do I need coffee? No time for coffee, fruit juice is healthier
Why isn’t the sun out yet
Maybe I can fake a leg amputation and get out of this…..

We make it to the start
Okay this can’t be so bad, look at all these old people doing this
There are people watching from their flats along the start line, they have coffee. I should have had coffee
Ok we’ve been waiting to start for half an hour, I need to move before I chicken out
There’s a creepy Indian guy who keeps staring and smiling, do I look that entertaining
Finally we’re starting!
Ok, slow and steady, c’mon legs don’t make me look bad
Huff huff, wtf am I really doing this?!
Nope I’m not doing this, I’ll walk
Oh, that granny is running, damn you granny now I have to run.
Annnnd we’re walking again
Ok, self, stop being so lazy, move your ass

By now I have a sort of slow run- walk -slow run rhythm going.
1km mark
One km??? ONE???????? That felt like 5km already!!!  These people are lying
They obviously can’t count
Everyone around me has pretty much the same reaction, ok that’s cool
First km down, Yeehaw
Let’s walk a bit,  finish line isn’t going anywhere
Creepy Indian guy caught up and he’s trying to make conversation
Just smile and nod
Oh hey! Look who had motivation to run again

3km mark
Water. They have water. Give me 5 of those little plastic bags of water that I usually think are gross
Alright now, I feel a bit fresher
Look at me all hyped up and running
Look at those guys, dressed up like macklemore in thrift shop cheering us on. So sweet
Ouch, lady down! She fell, OMG I hope I don’t fall…

Running slower now, actually I’m just going to walk… Hmm the people behind me don’t seem to agree with my walking, ok ok I’ll move
Why oh why did I think this would be fun
I’m never doing this again
My cheeks are burning. They’re probably red, I probably look like a big tomato now. Bleh

5km mark
I can see the runners on their way back to the finish line, I wonder if anyone will notice if I just cut and join them…
No! I am going to finish the run.
Yay I see the water tents. This time I need a sip of coke, screw my no soda drinks resolution I need sugar!!
Ok almost there…
Oh. False alarm, first I have to reach the turn around point.
Sure, I’ll just die of dehydration til then
turning around now. Sigh can’t be too long til I’m done

6km
Time for coke. Ok just a sip, annnd gimme that water too!!
Right that’s much better. 
I can do this, 4km to go
Hey what are those people doing? Paragliding?! I should go paragliding.. I’d probably crap myself but I wanna go paragliding.

7km mark
There’s a lady holding a cardboard sign against her chest.
She’s waiting for someone so she can turn it around and cheer them on.
That’s so sweet
Why do I want to cry now
Wtf I feel so emotional. Ugh
Ok let’s just keep running alright.
Someone next to me says she’s done 7km in 55 minutes. That means so have I! This is actually quite cool. I feel pretty good. I should run more often. I’m going to run more if I survive this. Look I can go faster.
Um my legs say no to the faster.
This running thing…. Is over. It’s just 3km I’ll walk it.

8km
There’s a man with what looks like a hip problem who’s also like eighty and he’s walking faster than me.
I don’t care.
There’s a lady about my mom’s age who slows down, gets cheered on by the Marshall, breaks into a smile and carries on stronger – there’s that crying feeling again.
I’m still walking. It’s ok.I can see the finish area.

9km mark
Everyone is pretty much walking now and taking selfies along the road.
Just a little bit longer.
Let’s see if I can run the last km
Nope, ok nevermind
The finish line!!! Yes!!
But first you must complete the 500m obstacle of soft grass and a million people watching you come in
I feel like I should at least be moving faster but apparently my legs do not agree
There’s a clock in front of me.
1:30:42
Well, I expected two hours so yay me.
Alright time to get coffee and go home!!!

Challenge Day 24

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I’m quite bad at picking favourites; but a movie that I think is AMAZING and I’m so jealous that my brain can’t give me such good ideas, is In Time.

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Basically, in a future world, instead of money, our currency is time. When we are 24, our time starts. Everything, food, bills, etc. costs time. When they run out of time, they die. The story follows a kind of love story between the main characters, but it’s the idea of time being ‘money’ that intrigues me.

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There are also the Minute Men who steal time. There are still different classes of people, the wealthier people being those who have the most time and keep getting time, working class are those who have just enough time to get by, work everyday to get paid more time. And even the poorest people who are running out of time faster than they can receive it. If you don’t buy anything with your time, though, it doesn’t run out. They don’t grow ‘older’ than 24.

I love stories that show different ways of living compared to that which we have adapted to. I love the idea that humans haven’t actually figured it all out, and that hopefully one day, life will mean more than just how wealthy you are.

Challenge Day 23

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The last time I had a crush on a celeb I think I was like 16. Since then my definition of attractive has changed drastically. When I am attracted to a person, in any way, It’s fueled by personality, sense of humour, wit, and just general brain power. Not that I don’t appreciate a good set of abs but I just battle to appreciate a beautiful bodies with an empty mind. Just to explain the seemingly dodgy attractions I am about to reveal.

HOT_Photo_Of_Jensen!

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tatum ok this one is just for the abs